Message to the Maze….

Emmanuel I read your book! I’m I crazy for wanting to live in 2018 forever? I’m I crazy for not wanting to make that leap into the next year, people keep giving their year reviews while I just punter on how much I don’t want it to end. This Life is such a lie, a hoax, the cycle repeatedly. Someone asked me, “Oi Chalo why so many people dying of late Bana?” till I realized that’s not the case, people been dying since time immemorial, it’s just that the more we grow older the more people we get to know, the more shoulders we brush with and so when the latter follows suit we tend to realize sumn, lately I feel as if I’m on a sequel of Final destination damn!

Folks keep telling me to be grateful, to give thanks but zii, this is like oppression its like any other government regime, “Its His will” there’s nothing we can do than to just accept and give thanks.. NIGGA WHAT?! that’s šŸ‚ šŸ’© it reminds me of that Kanye West song “No man should have all that Power” someone should keep someone in check! There should be a balance!

My idea of the after life is different from y’all, there’s really no such thing as “when we meet again” that’s the consolation the dogma we’ve been subjected to just to comfort our fears, coz when we die all matter of earthly relations die also, blood ties, family ties. We become something else, we become pure energy stuck in the ether till judgment day! You’ll never see your wife, your dad, your mom, your kids, that little peng ting you used to screw behind your main, POOF!!

And so my question is, what glory is that? What purpose is all that for? LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING !? and what answers they always give me is reference to the book of Job, so I had to double check, and to be honest it makes even lesser sense to me… Why do that to anyone? Are we really just Pons in some big chess game in the sky? A loss is a loss no matter the reimbursements!

I’m at war with Him tbh, I fail to understand, Money is the only real thing that makes sense to me, it’s so funny now I understand why this suckers off themselves, you really have to attain a certain level of veneration and wokeness to actually pull a Hannah Baker, Ive come to respect this guy’s, this is no suicide note or them 13tapes naah,the only thing keeping me grounded is the Living. I now get you Pete Davidson it’s makes sense epiphany moment.

Mama I love you so much, I think about where you are every day, Mama it hurts that I never get to repay you for your effortsĀ  your sacrifices its so unfair, WHY? like there’s so many people wasting themselves out here, using up oxygen and resources for sh*t fam why they gotta get all this chances, I’m searching for a Project ALMANAC Lord please don’t let this year end like this or else I’m gone, the other side seems just about better than this!!

I remember looking at my older sister and thinking damn she look just like her, sometimes the question is not when but why? Why all this? Why the light come with all this pain, haya mateso yote, where’s the point of it all? I’m seaking Justice for the just. PicturesĀ  Memories all the time I’ve left I’d give it all up for you.

Whats this math You playing? Taking away from and adding, the equation is not balanced. I feel as if I should just stay here, not live not die just a never-ending purgatory, what’s the time frame to start living again? I always feel guilty when I find myself laughing or smiling at something or a joke it’s like I shouldn’t be….i know you’dve fight for me to the death, but your death ended my fight!You never took a day off in your life,ntakulipaje? What gift befits you Ma’ ?

To the love of my lifeĀ  baby I love you and I’m glad you’re hear with me, if this is what He meant, some sick twisted switcheroo then so be it, the only thing I ask is that that’s the end of Him!!




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